• Leanne, The Barefoot Medium

Romantic Love: What is it, will you ever find it love & bringing it into your Life

Love is the fundamental element of all human relationships and the ability to both give and receive love is an essential part of what allows you to feel and see value in yourself and others, understand what is truly important in your world, guides your behaviours and actions as well as being the core ingredient to every person’s sense of well-being.

Whether you are single, married or in a relationship in the present moment, if you feel loved and needed you will be in a space where you are able to thrive through some of the pressures of everyday life as well as any obstacles, challenges and difficulties which may arise. Love has the potential to impact your values, beliefs, thoughts, emotions and actions and to enhance every area of your life. Love allows you to feel a sense of great pleasure, joy, happiness, intimacy and connectedness.

However, if you are single or in a relationship or marriage where in the present moment you do not feel and see evidence that you are loved and needed, you will be in a space where you are simply attempting to get through and survive the responsibilities of everyday life and may find it very difficult to gather the strength and courage to overcome obstacles, challenges and difficulties which may arise. When you are not fully embracing love, unable to give and receive love, this can lead to feelings of deep pain, hurt, loneliness, isolation, doubt, depression, frustration and even result in you physically and emotionally withdrawing or distancing yourself from others.

Love is something that every person on this planet needs, wants and desires to have or have more of in their lives. I am sure like me you grew up listening to or reading stories about romantic love in fairy tales, that is the kind of love that is magical, where ‘it just happens’, where you find ‘The One’ and that this then leads to happy marriages and of course the “happily ever after”. You have more than likely been hearing stories like this about romantic love since you were a child with the same story now being played out in various forms over and over again on TV shows, movies, novels, plays and even songs. So from a very young age you have more than likely been encouraged at an unconscious level to seek out and search for your very own ‘happily ever after’.

Looking at this today, I believe that this vision of what romantic love is and how we go supposed to bringing love into our lives does you a dis-service, disempowers and keeps you stuck in the belief that your ‘true love’ must be out there somewhere waiting for you and wondering when love will happen for you. This can result in a devastating pattern and cycle of searching for love in ways that are misguided, disempowering and which may result in further disappointment, pain, hurt, frustration, loneliness or isolation. There is the possibility with this vision of love for you to fall in love with the idea of a person, who may or may not exist, and to then hope that you find them or that a relationship with them will survive.

However, what if you were able to challenge this view of romantic love and begin to create a more uplifting, empowering vision and start to understand that love is an emotion that is acted on each and every day. If you do this, you may begin to see that romantic love is more of a deep sense of knowing, recognition and consideration for the well-being and value of another person and relationship physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually. With this type of loving relationship there must be an intention to actively commit to giving and receiving love, to communicate love through thoughts, words, feelings and actions, to willingly create a joyful, successful and fulfilling life, to choose to resolve and move through any problems or conflicts which may arise and to weave love into every aspect of your life. There is the possibility to then to experience joy and happiness when you are present, close to and interacting with the person you are choosing to love.

This vision of romantic love also involves a willingness to actively connect with another individual, to share and discover the relatedness, value, beauty, in the simple and ordinary things in life with someone, in other words to find meaning in the simple and unromantic tasks. When you look at love in this way, you see that love is a promise made to love someone each and every day, a willingness to allow the other person to see all of you, an ability to see the other person clearly and to fully accept and love them as they are, a commitment to take steps every day to give and receive love and the desire to communicate and show your deeper desires and nature to another.

If you are in the present moment wanting to bring romantic love into your life, then I would suggest that you empower yourself by consciously choosing to let go of all that dis-empowers and keeps you stuck, whether that is thoughts, beliefs, patterns or current relationships. Make a commitment today to learn everything you can about love, how you like to give and receive love, open to asking for the help and support you need, want and desire, develop the communication skills you will require to sustain a healthy loving relationship, connect with the love and joy that is already within your life so that when you do meet you ‘One’ and step into relationship you will be able to fully love, nurture and support each other so that you thrive in this world! Please remember that you are responsible for making your life whole … making your life meaningful, pleasurable, happy and loving. So make the commitment today to open to and be the love you seek, the love you need, the love that enriches your life and has the potential to make you happy.


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