• Leanne, The Barefoot Medium

How to spice up your relationship

Keeping your relationship fresh, fun and passionate requires you to both be willing to put in the time and work. Though you may be more in love than ever, you have to make an effort to keep your connection and your sex life from becoming ‘vanilla’.

Couples may find themselves at a point in their relationship where one or both starts to feel like things are a little dull, boring and like you are simply going through the same thing day in day out, whether inside or outside of the bedroom. This does not necessarily mean that there is a problem and that it is time to get out, leave or do anything else drastic. Many couples as a result of work, family or other responsibilities end up with a to-do-list a mile long, feeling stressed, overwhelmed and unable to find the time or energy to connect with each other mentally, emotionally or physically.

After a period of time, most couples begin thinking about how they can ‘spice’ things up in their relationship - that is, they want to make changes, do things differently, shift out of the daily routines, try something new, make things more interesting, fun, intimate and even turn up the heat and get a bit more frisky in the bedroom. Change and freshness is essential in any relationship as it allows you to create solid foundations of love, trust intimacy as well as keep the passion fuelled and the connection you had when you first meet alive.

If you want to know to spice up your relationship, just follow these easy tips:

  • Get connected and start dating each other again, whether it’s going out dancing or to the movies, romantic dinners, heading out for a game of pool, taking a walk out in nature, horse-riding, scuba diving, do things that are fun and you enjoy as this will help you remember why you feel in love in the first place

  • Look through fresh eyes and see the positive qualities in your partner and the relationship - ask yourself what do you admire and love about your partner? What do you appreciate most about them and your relationship? What are you grateful for in the present moment?

  • Communicate with each other - it is important to develop strong foundations in your relationship around trust, respect and intimacy by communicating openly and honestly on a regularly basis about any issues, challenges, achievements and goals

  • Indulge in physical touch and foreplay - take the time to connect with each other physically everyday whether through a gentle touch of the shoulder, chest or butt, sitting closely, hugs, kisses, holding hands, massages that do not necessarily lead to sex

  • Have sex on a regular basis - embrace your sensual side on a daily basis, explore your sexual desires, experiment and have fun - schedule sex into your week if it’s been awhile, if it’s hard to initiate or difficult to find time for

  • Be open about your desires, fears, fantasies, requests and preferences around intimacy and sex - ask your partner what they like, what they don’t like, what they want more of and what they might like to try/do in the future

  • Dress up and be ready for romance - if you have been with your partner for awhile and live together there is a tendency to lounge around in your pyjamas or comfortable clothes until it's time to go out for dinner or for an event or special occasion. It is important to act like you're just starting a new relationship and dress up in beautiful clothes that allow you to feel beautiful, attractive and confident every now and then - your partner will really appreciate the effort and you will feel amazing too.

It is important to remember that great relationships to some work, so taking the time and effort to ‘spice’ up your relationship and sex life will help you stay connected, keep the passion burning and the take you to a deeper more fulfilling and satisfying level of love and intimacy.


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