Which love language do you speak?
Love comes in all different shapes, sizes and forms. Gary Chapman in his wonderful book called "The 5 Love Language" suggests that love is expressed in 5 different ways and that we can experience difficulties in our relationships when we fail to recognise the love language being used to communicate with us.
Check out the below summary of the 5 love languages and find out what your love language is!
Words of Affirmation: These people are kind, compassionate, understanding, genuine, humble and tender and love to keep things simple and will be straightforward with their communication. They often use words of affirmation, give compliments often, express their appreciation and give self and others encouragement as well as say "I love you". They use simple, straight-forward words to express how they feel and as a powerful way of communicating their love and need you to do this in return. They love to be told they are great at something, that they are the light of your life or that they look particularly stunning in that outfit. They are also the ones who love giving and receiving guidance as well as responding to requests for help and support.
Physical Touch: These people are very loving and tender, they love to hold hands, kiss, hug and engage in physical touch. They can't walk past you without wanting to give you a hug or when talking to touch your hand, shoulder or leg to acknowledge how much they love and value you. As friends, they are the ones who constantly touch your arm when they speak or bump up against you. They also love to give massages, sensual touch and sexual pleasure in their romantic relationships and especially need this to be returned to them in order to feel loved.
Quality Time: These people are very sharing, always present, friendly, great listeners and love to spend quality time with the people they love. They need to know you are genuinely paying attention, that the time you spend with them is worthwhile and "quality" not that you are just existing in the same space as each other. They need you to be present with them and to have your pure and undivided attention, to engage in activities they enjoy, to spend time together, listening, conversing and engaging in eye contact with them.
Acts of Service: These people give a lot of time, energy and resources to others and are always willing to help others in need, they are the people who would do anything for you. They step in and give you a break from your chores, they cook meals for you when you're sick, they make sure your needs are met in a thousand small ways everyday, they show their love by their actions, helping, doing, organising and fixing things for others. These people also love to have people help them through their actions and LOVE it when you offer to take a job off their hands for them no matter how small.
Gift Giving: These people are very thoughtful, giving and always show up with appropriate presents or gifts, whether they are small items, objects or even money. They do not always give big things, but they just can't go past the "perfect" gift for you when they see it. A constant stream of small gifts will come from these people and they love to receive gifts in return as well. Even if the gift is very small, like a flower you picked out of the garden on your way in the door.
Take a few minutes to look at the above 5 love languages....which one most reflects how you like to give and receive love? Think about the significant people in your life, how do they most like to give and receive love? Start communicating in each others love language and you will see your relationship start to blossom and grow in new and exciting ways.
To learn more about each of these love languages, pick up a copy of Gary's book!
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