As I sit here with Spirit this morning, I am asked to share some information, insights and teachings around how you can begin to rebuild and recover trust and faith in interpersonal relationships when you have experienced the trauma of betrayal.
As you move through life, you are meant to create and experience healthy interpersonal connections as you intertwine your life with others, create memories, have children and learn and grow, which is what makes relationships beautiful. Healthy relationships with others allow you to consistently connect and intermingle your lives, feel safe, supported, loved and nurtured and to be able to mutually depend on each other. You will also have a solid foundation and base on which to trust in yourself, your skills and abilities, to trust and have faith in others, providing a sense of “I can depend on you” which then allows you to feel safe, secure and confident. These type of relationships provide you with a sense of security, grounding, safety and wholeness, a great foundation from which to operate, a source of joy, peace, comfort and rest so that you are able to move into life more fully, authentically and with faith.
If you have experienced the trauma of deception and betrayal, whether through a family member, friend, colleague or lover, you may find it extremely difficult to create and maintain healthy interpersonal connections because of the destruction and damage to your sense of trust, faith, safety and security. This can cause deep pain, threaten your health and well-being, reduce your capacity to deal with emotional distress, put you into a free fall pattern of fear and insecurity, overwhelm your capacity to cope with life and define relationships as source of danger rather than safe haven in times of stress. Because betrayal is often suffered quietly, through a sense of disloyalty, you may have suppressed, rejected or pushed away the memories, fears, beliefs or deep emotional pain and feelings created through the experience, situation or event which can be very harmful and block you from moving forward in life as well as stop you from being able to create amazing, beautiful and healthy interpersonal connections with others.
It is extremely important to put yourself back together again, to rebuild your environment and recreate your relationships so that you are able to gain a sense that the world is safe, that people can be trusted, resulting in healthy connections and intimacy with others. You can do this by taking steps to shift and change your story, the pattern or program that leads you to believe that betrayal is something that you have to learn to live with, that is keeping you stuck in a bad moment so that you can put it behind you for good and begin to choose to trust and have faith again. You can start recovering you trust and faith after betrayal using the following steps:
Clean Up the Pieces: In order to start the healing process you can use meditation to dig into the subconscious and find the root cause of the deception or betrayal so that you can begin cleaning out the old memories, thoughts, limiting beliefs, emotions, patterns and fears that keep it in your energy field
Be Present & Open: Rather than suppressing, cutting or turning off emotions or feelings as a way of feeling safe, connect with your heart and allow yourself to be fully present and open to experience your emotions and feelings. You can do this by detaching from the pain, frustration, bitterness, hurt etc which may be buried within and simply observe it as energy which you can break free from by allowing it to move through and out of your body using the breath. Your emotions and feelings are your best friend, sign-posts which can either keep you stuck and blocked or empower you to move forward towards what you do want
Forgive: Make a conscious decision to forgive at least one person per day which is essentially a choice to release yourself from any hate, resentment, animosity or anger, to accept past experiences as they were and to take your power back. This will allow you to take situations, experience and events less personally and begin embracing peace, understanding, compassion and empathy for self (and others) so that you are able to change your story to one which is much more empowering and positive moving forward. The process of forgiveness is not about the other person it is about you!
Let Go: It is important to eliminate or let go of any traces of the betrayal or associated trauma you experienced. You can do this by down by writing down the worst case of betrayal you experienced, capturing all of the emotions and feelings, describing the moment when it took place, highlighting the impact that the event had. Once you have done this perform a ceremony to let go and release the trauma by taking the piece of paper and disposing of it in a way that allows you to feel empowered and free, for example burning it or simply throwing it in the bin.
Detach & Connect: If you feel you do not trust someone or that they are not trustworthy, it is important to detach and walk away from them and to be selective about the type of people you bring into your life for own well-being. Start connecting with and surrounding yourself with honest, loyal and positive people, who inspire faith, who want to earn your trust and who are on the same path as you
Build Faith: Take time to start piecing your faith back together again! You can do this by building your confidence in the goodness of others, start trusting yourself and your abilities, believe in your decisions and choices, promise yourself something and make sure you keep that promise, take small steps every day towards faith until it becomes a habit
Visualise & Create: Visualise and daydream, both powerful ways to help you create the reality that you want to manifest in your life. Imagine and visualise each day a reality where you are trusted and can fully trust, where people are loyal, kind, peaceful and support each other
Take a Leap: Allow yourself to make a decision based on pure faith, where you follow your intuition, where you take action based on faith and trust rather than fear and doubt. Take a risk to place your trust in two people (who would never harm you) for one month without limits, place your hopes in them, allow them to teach you that there are good people in the world who you can confide in and who are loyal and supportive
Affirm Faith: Start each day with an affirmation which trains your mind to have faith in others, yourself and the future – without doubts. For example:
I trust people in my life fully.
I have faith people in my life act with respect and genuine intentions towards me.
I have faith and trust that my future holds unlimited potential.
I trust my loved ones will help me achieve my potential.
I am free from wrong-doing of others. I am unaffected by their behaviour.
While you may have experienced the trauma of deception and betrayal at some point in your life which eroded your sense of trust in others and your sense of safety and security, it is not and does not have to be how you experience interpersonal relationships in the future. From today on-wards, gift yourself with an environment which allows you to feel consistently safe and secure, where you are surrounded by people who consistently nurture, support and love you. Gift yourself with trust and faith, which will take time, effort and a willing support network.
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