• Leanne, The Barefoot Medium

Sex & Intimacy: The Bridge between Joy & Pleasure

In all romantic relationships, the need for joy and pleasure often goes hand-in-hand with the need for physical touch and intimacy, an absolute essential element of all relationships as it helps to ensure each person has the ability to thrive and grow as an individual physically and spiritually as well as helps to support the long-term success of the relationship itself.

Each of us experiences joy as a feeling deep in our hearts, in our souls and into the centre of our being which can also result in a sensation often referred to as pleasure, which is felt and experienced deep within the physical body as a result of this joy. We all want to feel joy and pleasure in our lives, it is a natural part of our human experience, in fact our physical bodies desire to be held, loved, stroked and pleasured, are built for connection and to thrive on joy and pleasure.

The physical act of sex or love-making provides each of us with not only the opportunity to procreate but the space to open our hearts, minds, bodies and souls to expressing and experiencing soulful feelings of joy, pleasure, bliss, ecstasy and love with another human being. This is where we as individuals must allow ourselves to be vulnerable and open to receiving loving physical touch, the kind you naturally experience in the early days of connecting with a partner, where you lovingly explore each other’s bodies, where you are physically present in the moment, where you let go of everything else around you and simply surrender to self, each other and to Spirit.

Without the opportunity to express and experience sex or love-making, we as humans can feel incomplete, disconnected from ourselves, from others and even Spirit, unable to embrace or feel joy and pleasure and simply avoid sex or intimacy with others resulting in denying or dismissing aspects of our authentic self of who we are at the very core. When this happens and you have not experienced loving physical touch for some time and may have forgotten how to be touched and you may not know how to allow others to lovingly touch and pleasure you in return, even if you are in a relationship. When this happens your entire energy field may be, consciously or unconsciously, saying “touch me” or may be screaming for “pleasure” yet you may not be experiencing the true joy and pleasure of intimacy, sex and love-making.

If you feel your ability to embrace intimacy and your sexuality has become stagnated or blocked, which in turn can impact your personal and spiritual development, the following tips might help you to reawaken your nature urges and desires to feel joy and pleasure through connecting with another:

  • Show up: Simply allow yourself to show up and be willing to touch and be touched by another with the intention of bringing love, joy and pleasure

  • Clarity: Be clear about why you want to touch or be touched and stay focused on this intention, whether it be for the purpose of nurturing, comfort, pleasure or procreation

  • Space: Allow a space for the energy of love, joy and pleasure to come in, whether through music, dance, conversation or silence whatever inspires you

  • Presence: Be present and in the moment, focusing on the sensations of touch, the breath, the eyes, the movements of the body, the sounds and feelings, allowing yourself to simply be

  • Surrender: Agree to surrender to self, to each other and to Spirit during the act of physical touch, intimacy and love-making and let go of control so that you can simply melt into each other’s minds, bodies and spirits

  • Trust: Allow yourself to trust that a sense of well-being, joy, pleasure and love is possible with another, that you know deep inside how and where to touch and are willing to be touched, following your instincts and seeing where it leads

Remember that the purpose of sex and intimacy is to help us have a loving connection with ourselves and our partners so that we are then able to receive more love, joy and pleasure in our everyday lives. As humans you all have nature urges and desires to feel this type of joy and pleasure in connection with another, give yourself permission to feel it, to feel another opening under your touch, to feel yourself opening under the touch of another and to discover the depths of joy and pleasure in the body, mind and soul. This will then also allow you to experience a deeper connection to life itself and to embrace a deep and profound sense of love, joy, pleasure and gratitude for yourself, others and Spirit.


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