Updated: Feb 22, 2020
One of the most toxic, negative and low vibrational energies you can experience is , blaming someone else, making another person wrong, placing others at fault, suggesting others are the problem and cause of your emotions and feelings.This feeling essentially comes from, a fear of having to look at yourself which would mean having to experience and feel all the hurt, of not being good enough, of not being worth loving or some other form of not ok, so you resent to protect yourself from and avoid the pain.
When you hold resentment you shut down physically, mentally, emotionally and/or spiritually, become bitter as a result of your experience, lose your sense of joy for life resulting in putting up walls to protect yourself from similar experiences, which makes life in general more difficult and you being less able to express love for self or others. It is important to remember that such intense feelings as anger, resentment, hatred and even a desire for revenge are part of the human experience and that they serve to demonstrate what you understand as acceptable and unacceptable ways of being treated or treating others and come from the need for protection, safety, love and respect.
So, how do you move through or let go of resentment in order to embrace more love, compassion and understanding?The best process you can use is firstly be willing to acknowledge, feel and experience the hurt, find the feeling of not good enough or not worth loving and then cry, yell, scream, whatever it takes to no longer need or hold onto the resentment.Once you have done this you are able to move into , that is a conscious decision to release yourself from hate, resentment, animosity or anger, to accept past experiences as they were and a choice not to seek revenge or punishment from those who may have harmed you or wronged you in some way.Forgiveness is not about the other person, it does not mean you are condoning, overlooking, endorsing or excusing the behaviour, it is about being willing to release from any toxic or destructive emotions and feelings or hurt and pain from the past.This then allows you to take your power back, take situations, experience and events less personally and embrace peace, understanding, compassion and empathy for self (and others) so you can change your story to one which is much more empowering and positive moving forward.If like many people, as a child you took on beliefs about negative feelings or emotions being wrong, unacceptable or inappropriate to express or give voice to then you may find a process of journaling helpful to support you in shifting and transforming the energy around the person, relationship, situation or experience.
Journaling provides a safe space where you can simply write down, fully express and get them any stuck emotions and feelings out, without judgement, in an open and honest way so that you can move into forgiveness.To do this simply start by identifying one person who you feel angry, resentful or hurt by and then:
Describe the situation, event or experience involving this person
Acknowledge the emotions and feelings that have been brought to the surface for you
Begin to explore the possible reasons or circumstances which may have led to this event or situation happening or to the person treating you this way so you can begin seeing things from a different perspective
Identify any possible solutions or actions you can take to transform or resolve the situation or experience (eg. Raise the issue with the person involved, talk to friends who support and encourage you, engage a therapist/counsellor or let go of the situation/close the door on the relationship completely)
If you feel you are not ready to forgive, it is important to acknowledge this and to simply allow yourself to be willing to move towards forgiveness at some point, as this will let the Universe know you want to let go and for the help and support to be provided for you to know how to do this at the time that is right for you. When it comes to working with forgiveness, it is important to remember to forgive for yourself. Forgive yourself or others for not knowing, for holding on to old resentments, situation, experiences or relationships, for any damage caused by you or others, for protecting yourself from being hurt, for blaming others for problems, situations and experiences in your life or where others have blamed you as well as any times where you may have made life more challenging, difficult or a struggle when it may not have been necessary. Remember, you can only make choices, decisions and take actions from where you are in any given moment in time, with the level of awareness you have and by doing the best you possibly can with the knowledge and wisdom you currently have. When you have more knowledge, wisdom and understanding, you do better, have better and are better in each moment.
Note: This article was also published in Issue 14 (March-May 2017) of Lightworker Advocate Magazine - page 31
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