• Leanne, The Barefoot Medium

Breaking the Pattern: Impatience

Updated: Feb 22, 2020

Sit back, kick off your shoes and allow Spirit and I to share some wisdom and insight around a little thing called Patience....or should I say Impatience!!

Sometimes all of the things that need to fall into place for you to receive your goals, wants and desires can move quickly and at other times move a little more slowly and feel like things are being delayed. When this happens, you may engage in one of the most common self-sabotage patterns, that of impatience.

Now firstly, let’s get clear on what a self-sabotage pattern actually is …. Sabotage, patterns happen when the actions you take in attempting to achieve your goals and desires or to solve or cope with a problem are negative, low vibrational, fear-based, come from you reacting and simply are not aligned with what you want. Impatience is one of these patterns! That is, the inability to accept or tolerate delay, difficulty or annoyance resulting in feelings of anger, stress, upset and a fear of missing out often resulting in attempts to control situations, experiences or events around you.

The impatience sabotage pattern often shows up when you feel like you need to move things along a little more quickly or accelerate things by trying to force something to happen, wanting something to be different or the way you want it or them to be or for someone to take an action. Impatience then means that you are generally taking actions or behaving in ways that push against the flow of your desires which inevitably leads to fear and frustration which blocks your progress and creates barriers to achieving your goals. It is driven by underlying fears and a lack of trust, whether in yourself or in others to make good decisions, feelings of being out of control and worry that terrible things may happen, low self-esteem and control being the only way you know how to feel safe and loved. You may even be overthinking and worrying about time slipping away, it being a long time since ______ etc. Which results in you attempting to take action from fear of lack (not having enough of _____) in this case time.

The solution to overcoming this pattern is of course ‘patience’. You can start to embrace patience by becoming consciously aware of whether you are reacting (fear-based) or responding (love-based) to delay, difficulty or annoyance or if you are in resistance or able to accept and tolerate what is being experienced in the present moment. When you react from your fears, limiting beliefs or ego you may engage in other self-sabotage patterns such as over-thinking, generalising, become over-whelmed, blame, distort the truth, and/or divert responsibility which can result in you not being true to your authentic self or taking responsibility for your own experiences. Whereas, when you respond from love, you are respecting and honouring yourself and others, maintaining your boundaries, aligned with your goals and desires, being your authentic self, trusting your intuition, speaking your truth with integrity and from a place of love for self and others.

So….When you are presented with circumstances, situations or experiences and delays, difficulties or annoyances, you are really being presented with an opportunity to shift and change your pattern of behaviour from reacting to responding by embracing patience, acceptance and flexibility. You can begin making a conscious effort to change this pattern by using the following simple steps when you notice yourself slipping into the self-sabotage behaviour of impatience:

  1. Take a moment to breathe

  2. Allow yourself to pause before taking any actions (amber light)

  3. Acknowledge the situation, circumstances and experiences as well as any thoughts, emotions or fears

  4. Reflect on how you can embrace patience, acceptance and flexibility in that moment

  5. Identify whether you have access to the resources you need to move you forward - be it money, time, support, energy

  6. Be vulnerable and ask for help and support to move through it if you need to

Breaking this self-sabotage pattern will take practice, patience, compassion and persistence.


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