• Leanne, The Barefoot Medium

Authentic & False Self: Reacting v's Responding

Updated: Feb 22, 2020

Thanks for connecting, take a seat, relax and kick your shoes off as Spirit and I share with you some wisdom and insights to help you understand the difference between your authentic self and false self and when you react versus respond to situations, experiences or people in your life.

Let’s start first with the false-self, or as it is better known the ego-self, can influence your perceptions, thoughts, beliefs, actions, emotions creating limitations, obstacles, challenges or steer you completely away from your values and what your true purpose in the world. When you are being your false-self, you are often filling a role that others expect of you, ignoring your true gifts and talents, sending false information about who you are, leaving you feeling incomplete, like something is missing and blocked from opportunities and experiences your soul desires. If you are in your false-self, you may also feel drained, exhausted, frustrated, stuck, unworthy, doubtful, insecure, anxious, stressed and overwhelmed as you are disconnected from who you are, inauthentic and dishonest with yourself, resulting in you being hard or tough on yourself and others as well as placing others opinions, beliefs and expectations around what your life is meant to look, sound and feel like before your own.

On the other hand, when you are being your authentic-self, you accept and love yourself as an individual exactly as you are, you are using and expressing your unique skills, talents and wisdom as well as your thoughts, beliefs, actions, choices and emotions empower you to move towards your needs, goals and desires. When you are being your authentic self, you are expressing yourself fully, you know what motivates you, drives you forward and what you believe rather than what others expect you to be as well as being able to be completely open, honest and accepting of yourself and others, appreciating all of who you are. You also understand the importance of maintaining self-love boundaries, feel seen, heard, loved and valued as well as trust your connection to yourself, others, your intuition and Spirit. When you are being your authentic self you can also build healthy and stable relationships with yourself and others, identify and understand your beliefs, what you do on a daily basis and define your core values, needs, wants and desires in life. If you are in your authentic self, you may feel energised, excited, passionate, enthusiastic, peaceful, trusting, have faith and be in flow with life itself.

In life, you are here to learn, grow and stretch into more love by learning about yourself, what, knowing what you value, understanding which wounds are in need of healing and transforming as well as which beliefs and behaviours are limiting your potential or empowering you to create the life that you desire. Essentially, you are here to learn how to be more of your authentic-self! How do you do that you ask???

Your first step in becoming more of your authentic self, is to lead with the heart, by becoming aware of the illusions and deceptions that your ego creates when a situation, experience or person triggers you to react with anger, insecurity, blaming, excuses, justifying actions, putting others needs first, waiting for others to change/transform, guilt, shame, control or playing the victim.

Secondly, think about and become aware of situations or experiences in your everyday life where you feel/have felt offended by something someone said about you, when someone challenged your actions or when they pointed out behaviours they did not like , these are your red lights, your opportunity to pause, take a moment to honestly reflect and evaluate what it is taking place within you as a result. This will help you to remain present and connected to what they are communicating, accept other’s observations and perceptions of you (true or not) and take responsibility for being triggered so that you have a clearer understanding of yourself and become a better version of you.

Next, it is essential that you teach yourself to be more patient. When you are able to be patience with yourself and others, you are present in the moment, can quieten the mind and focus on truly listening to what others are saying in order to discern what is truthful and when others are projecting their stories and short-comings onto you. By being patient you are also staying connected to your heart, to your authentic self and what you are feeling so you can consciously respond to situations, experiences and people easily from a place of love for self and all those involved.

Finally, make a conscious decision to let go of your struggle with the ego which is leaving you feeling incomplete, unworthy, unloved, blocked or lacking the opportunities and experiences your soul desires by persistently and truthful engaging in self-assessment, resulting in it simply falling away and your perception and view of yourself improving to a more expanded, clearer and accurate heart-based awareness of who you are.

When you are your authentic self and respond to situations, experiences or people, you will be able to take more personal accountability for what is taking place in your life, have more self-discipline, can easily engage in self-reflect, have an open heart, you know how you want to be treated, see things from a higher perspective, have compassion and accept self and others, are able to take positive action and accomplish your goals and desires with ease, grace and love. So, go on…..I dare you to kick off those shoes and be your authentic self today and everyday from now on!!!!


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