Each and everyone of person has gone through times in their life where they have been presented with opportunities to create changes around a job, career path, partner, family, friendships, home, environment, goals, dreams and themselves. Change is simply a process which can be initiated and consciously chosen or it can be something that is thrust upon us by other people, experiences or circumstances, however, you WILL experience change, it is a part of what you are here in this lifetime to experience, so you can choose to embrace it or deny it.
When people are presented with difficulties, challenges, traumatic or hurtful experiences and times of significant change, they can begin to feel uncertain about where they fit in - like a ‘fish-out-of-water’ - may begin wandering aimlessly through life having no sense of direction, simply going through the motions day in day out. It is at times like these that people can begin to feel stuck, numb, unhappy, disconnected, restentful and even fearful that life is passing them by and like they are a fish on the inside of the bowl looking out, like a passive ‘spectator’ of their own lives. It is at this point that they may begin to withdraw, hold on or add to the emotional baggage, become ‘emotionally unavailable’ or ‘disconnected’ from themselves, others, spirit and life itself.
This can also happen when people see or hear about others, whether family, friends, colleagues or others in the community, who are vibrant, passionate and full of energy who seem to be leading a happy, successful and colourful life while life for them is dull, boring and ‘grey’ resulting in feeling incredibly disconnected from the ‘authentic self’, who they are at the very core of their being, in their heart and soul. It is when people begin noticing others experiences and lives, which appear to be filled with possibilities and opportunities that they begin to wonder why they are not experiencing the same, as if something is missing: a person, career, adventure or opportunities or like they do not have any choices.
People often become numb, ‘disconnect’ from self, partner, family, friends, colleages, community, spirit and life itself as a way to feel safe and protect themselves from a real or perceived threat whether physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually. So they become the passive ‘spectator’ in their lives, not able or unwilling to allow themselves to feel and experience the natural highs and lows that come with learning, growing and living this physical life.
If you are experiencing feelings of numbness, disconnection and like you are the ‘spectator’ in one or more areas of your life, it is important to consider whether this is simply a new phase in your life where some adjustments are required or if it is a serious issue that requires you to get your butt off the sidelines and start becoming actively involved in your own life!
These strategies will help if you want to begin moving towards your dreams, tapping into your potential, connecting with yourself and others, embrace your authentic self and begin to feel passionate, happy, vibrant and full of energy:
Deal with difficulties, challenges and issues when they present themselves openly and honestly
Learn how to release any bottled up emotions and let go of any emotional baggage you may be carrying from past relationships or experiences. It is important that you learn to feel any emotions that present themselves, do not hide it, avoid it or attempt to escape from it.
Get clarity and understanding of your situation and experience, by giving yourself time and space to refelect, think and look at the ‘bigger picture’ of your life and ask yourself the hard questions - ‘What is not working in my life?’, ‘Which areas of your life need movement or change?’ ‘Am I ready to create change in my life?’
Assess if change is necessary, whether small or significant, or if it is about finding new meaning, reappraising a situation and working through any difficulties, maybe even gaining a new appreciation for the what is familiar and currently in your life
Explore your options by creating a roadmap of all the possibilities and opportunities available, resources available, support required - for example, books, websites, journals, government departments, associations etc etc
Establish a plan which includes all of the practical aspects of setting up and managing changes including realistic goals, strategies and timeframes
Get started by breaking your goals and plans down into manageable steps that you can take each day to move you to where it is you want to be
By deciding to get off your butt and start becoming actively involved in your own life you are making a conscious choice to create, action and manage the changes that you want so that you can move towards your dreams, ambitions and goals in a practical, achieveable and authentic way. Remember, you are in control of the type, pace and degree of change in your life so start looking at strategies, options, examples, information and resources that can support you in making the best decision possible for you to feel passionate, connected and become a true ‘participant’ in your own life!
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