Tonight I publicly take a stand against any and all forms of bullying! Bullies are those individuals who deliberately and intentionally choose their "target" out of jealousy and envy and are driven by a need to cause suffering and tear down anyone else who is better than they are. They may be aggressive but they are weak, irresponsible cowards who refuse to take personal responsibility for their own insecurities and behaviour as well as the effect they have on other people’s lives, which shows a complete lack of integrity and weakness of character.
As a sensitive, compassion, kind and respectful child (and adult) with a strong sense of justice and high level of integrity, unfortunately, I have been the target of a number of bullies (people who lacked such qualities) throughout my life. Starting when I was 7 or 8 with a friend who used to call me (as well as other kids) names both at school and outside of school as well as point out my athletic weakness. I also experienced both physically and verbally aggressive behaviour from a girl who used to come to my house and play with my sister.
I went to High School in a completely different city so I thought the bullying would stop...how wrong I was! At high school, I remember being called names as well and being picked on by several guys and girls for supposedly being ‘fat’, when I was size 8/10 and kept myself fit & healthy through competitive swimming. My most memorable moment at high school was when the school’s guidance office suggested that I leave school because ‘I wasn’t going to amount to anything anyway!’. So as you can imagine, I really didn’t enjoy my high school experience either and ended up leaving at the end of year 10 to do a course in office work. As a child and young adult, I felt unworthy as a result of all of these nasty and untruthful things that were being said to me, however, I chose (out of fear) not to speak up and tell these people that their behaviour was disrespectful & not ok for me, thereby disempowering myself in the process.
As an adult I was also recently the deliberate and intentional target of cyber bullying (via facebook) by an individual who is also within the spiritual community and had not physically seen me for well over 6 months. This individual posted comments that indicated I was fake, both personally and professionally, and that just because I am currently not in a relationship, I did not know what love was. Obviously, I was incredibly hurt, upset and angry that someone, who I once considered a friend, would say such nasty, disrespectful and untruthful things about me in a forum in which so many other people within the spiritual community could see!
I recently also took a trip to Newcastle where I was doing a number of spiritual events, in the process of organising my trip I had a number of concerns I expressed to the individual I was to work with (a huge step for me in speaking my truth) and received an incredibly aggression response back from this individual. Being a person who does not like confrontation, I slipped into my old patterns of trying to fix things and do the right thing to make it feel nice. Unfortunately, I pushed through and continued with the event in spite of my concerns and ended up being the target of another bully who was extremely aggressive and attempted to completely take over the event in order to satisfy her own intentions. This incident left me feeling extremely disappointed, disrespected and disempowered because I did not say anything to this individual and instead just walked away knowing that I would never have to deal with this person again! Unfortunately, by not speaking up and addressing the issue with this person I chose to disempower myself and ever since have been overeating to compensate push down my feelings of guilt that I was out of integrity by not saying something and in turn has left me feeling incredibly unworthy!
As a spiritual person, I understand that my own actions, words and thoughts have played a part in the events which have unfolded in my life in terms of being the target of bullies. I take responsibility for the times where I have called someone else a name, whether directly or behind their back, or judged their actions and choices in any way. I now consciously choose not to stop myself from speaking my truth out of fear or to protect someone else’s feelings as I understand that it is their responsibility and lesson to learn. So tonight, on this beautiful full moon and solar eclipse, I chose to release any unhealthy weight on my body, emotional issues from my past, guilt and unworthiness and burdens that rightly belong to others NOW!
I also consciously choose to send only love, compassion and forgiveness to all those who have bullied me in the past and hope that you find the courage to learn to have empathy for others, and find integrity and strength from within!
My only wish is that by sharing this story I am able to help just one person to find the courage to stand-up for themselves, to speak their truth and know that they are worthy, they are strong and they do have support! So go out their and shine your own beautiful light out into the world & don’t allow anyone else to dim your sparkle!!!!
If you feel that you have been or are currently experiencing any form of bullying and would like support in learning strategies for dealing with the situation in a loving and empowering way, please feel free to contact me to book an appointment.
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